与华理克牧师(Rev. Rick Warren)、师母一同走过

生命网记者Hadas­sah：

惊闻华理克牧师(Rev. Rick Warren)的儿子Matthew War­ren 于周五(4月5日)自杀，我和先生马上开始为Warren牧师祷告。据CNN报道，Warren牧师最小的儿子Matthew，自幼就有心理疾病，结果导致严重的抑郁症和自杀的意念。Matthew 在马鞍山教会DVD、书籍仓库工作。“有时候他会讲话、兴奋，主动与人交往，但有时他会不愿意接触人，那种痛苦，极折磨人的痛苦是太难以忍受了！” 友人Con­stantz 说。

华理克牧师(Rev. Rick Warren)写给本教会同工的Email如下，我把它译成中文：

Sub­ject: Need­ing your prayers （主题：需要你们的代祷）

致我亲爱的同工：

过去33年来，我们一起度过了各样的危机。在你们遇到危机或丧亲的时候，我和Kay（师母的名字）得以在墓地挽着你们的手；或在病床边为你们祷告。今天，我们需要你们为我们祷告。

没有语言可以述说我们目前所承受的极度的悲哀。我们最小的儿子Matthew，27岁，也是本教会的终身会友，今天过世。

看着Matthew长大成人的人，都知道他是一个特别善良，温和，并富有同情心的人。他非常聪明，并且有一个特别的恩赐：一个房间里，他会敏感地发现谁正在痛苦中，谁正感觉不舒服，他会直接走到那个人面前，去鼓励他。

只有特别亲近的人才知道，他从一出生就有心理疾病，他在抑郁的黑洞中挣扎，时有自杀的意念。虽然看过全美最好的医生，试过各样的药物，也有人辅导，更有求医治的祷告，但这个疾病从没有减弱。他在与我们（父母亲）度过了一个愉快的晚上之后，在自己的家中，当绝望的浪潮再次向他袭来的时候，他结束了自己的生命。

我和太太常常为他的勇敢感到惊奇：不管那种痛苦是多么无情，他还是一直坚持下去。我永远不会忘记，多年前当又一种治疗无法医治、释放他时，Matthew对我说：“爸，我知道我会去天堂。为什么我不能现在就死了、结束这种痛苦呢？”然而，此后，他又坚持了十年。

谢谢你们的爱和祷告。我们也爱你们。

Rick­牧师

读完这个Email，我不禁泪流满面。为华理克牧师感恩，也深感他们夫妇现在所经历地那种彻骨的丧子之痛。我和先生一起迫切为他们祷告，愿神亲自安慰他们。

很多人不了解，传道人的家庭中会有多么大的属灵争战。牧师的孩子（PK，Pastor’s kids)和宣教士的孩子（MK，Missionary’s kids）常常是属灵争战中，魔鬼撒但攻击的对象。传道人自己全人的奉献之后，下定决心要对主、对主的话语至死忠心之后，魔鬼看到无法摇动大人的信仰了，就会把目标锁定在孩子身上。魔鬼撒但像吼叫的狮子，到处寻找可吞吃的人，PK、MK是它们首选的目标。

我们也有机会在传道人团契中服事。这些传道人都是顺服了上帝的呼召，放弃了世界的追求（他们中不乏名校毕业的），甘心情愿地默默地在教会中服事，甘心情愿地服事教会中“最小的一个”。但鲜有人会关心、体谅到他们的需要和他们的难处。

我们常常看到，牧师在台上拼尽全力地传讲“耶稣基督并祂钉十字架”，宣教士在努力地传福音、建教会。但又有多少人知道，在他们辛勤事奉的背后，家中有多少的争战，牧师们有多少彻夜不眠的祷告、师母们有多少流泪不止的呼求！但是感谢主，靠着神的恩典，我们能够胜过！

争战是需要付代价的。从某种意义上说，我感到Warren牧师夫妇，也是在为我们所有的传道人，经历那种丧子之痛。Warren牧师、师母，天父听见了你们的每一句祷告，也会擦干你们的眼泪。因为主已经得胜！

主啊，我们为华理克牧师夫妇(Rick Warren)代祷！父啊，他们经历丧子之痛之时，求主亲自安慰他们！求圣灵用说不出的叹息，替他们夫妇代求！主啊，求你怜悯所有的传道人，保护所有传道人的孩子！主啊，这些孩子是魔鬼撒但攻击的目标，但我们知道主你已经得胜，我们是主的精兵，我们与主一同得胜！

华理克牧师(左 Rev. Rick War­ren)  右为其儿子­Matthew War­ren

以下是CNN的英文报道：

Los Ange­les (CNN) — The week­end’s ser­mon at Sad­dle­back Church was “Sur­viv­ing Tough Times,” a theme Pas­tor Rick War­ren planned before his youngest son killed him­self with a gun Fri­day.

Matthew War­ren, 27, com­mit­ted sui­cide “in a momen­tary wave of despair” at the end of a life­time strug­gle “with men­tal ill­ness, dark holes of depres­sion and even sui­ci­dal thoughts,” the pas­tor wrote to the staff of his South­ern Cal­i­for­nia megachurch.

“Matthew was an incred­i­bly kind, gen­tle and com­pas­sion­ate young man whose sweet spir­it was encour­age­ment and com­fort to many,” a state­ment from the church said. “Unfor­tu­nate­ly, he also suf­fered from men­tal ill­ness result­ing in deep depres­sion and sui­ci­dal thoughts. Despite the best health care avail­able, this was an ill­ness that was nev­er ful­ly con­trolled, and the emo­tion­al pain result­ed in his deci­sion to take his life.”

Friend Mike Con­stantz told CNN he had a “play­ful spir­it.”

“There are the days where he was just this bub­bly, out­go­ing, effer­ves­cent, reach­ing out to peo­ple,” Con­stantz said. “And there were the days where he just did­n’t want to be around peo­ple. Just the pain, the excru­ci­at­ing pain, was just too much.”

A prophet­ic mes­sage?

Wor­ship ser­vices con­tin­ued as sched­uled Sat­ur­day and Sun­day with War­ren’s broth­er-in-law Tom Hol­la­day — an assis­tant pas­tor for the Orange Coun­ty, Cal­i­for­nia, con­gre­ga­tion — fill­ing in for War­ren. War­ren asked Hol­la­day to take over when he became ill with pneu­mo­nia after a busy East­er week­end sched­ule, before his son’s sud­den death, spokes­woman Anne Krumm said.

“Bad days make good ones bet­ter,” War­ren’s invi­ta­tion to Sat­ur­day’s ser­vice said on the church’s Face­book page

“It’s a mes­sage on what to do on the worst day of your life,” Hol­la­day said in Sat­ur­day’s ser­mon. “So even before Rick knew what they would be fac­ing at the end of the week, he was think­ing this is what we need to hear. And it is what we need to hear.”

Matthew, the youngest of War­ren’s chil­dren, worked at the Sad­dle­back Resources Ware­house, which dis­trib­utes books and DVDs and was “an impor­tant part of the church but played a qui­et role,” Krumm said.

“After a fun evening togeth­er with Kay and me, in a momen­tary wave of despair at his home, he took his life,” Pas­tor War­ren wrote in an e‑mail to his staff Sat­ur­day.

He was found dead from an appar­ent­ly self-inflict­ed gun­shot wound at his home in Mis­sion Viejo, Cal­i­for­nia, late Fri­day after­noon, Orange Coun­ty Coro­ner’s Deputy Daniel Aikin said. He put the esti­mat­ed time of death at around 10 a.m. that day. An autop­sy will be con­duct­ed ear­ly next week, Aikin told CNN on Sat­ur­day.

As a pio­neer of the megachurch move­ment, Rick War­ren looked to trans­late tra­di­tion­al evan­gel­i­cal mes­sages to a wider audi­ence.

War­ren, who found­ed Sad­dle­back with his wife 33 years ago, gave the invo­ca­tion at Pres­i­dent Barack Oba­ma’s 2009 inau­gu­ra­tion and penned “The Pur­pose-Dri­ven Life,” a Chris­t­ian self-help guide that became a main­stream best-sell­er.

Rick War­ren’s e‑mail

Sub­ject: Need­ing your prayers

To my dear staff,

Over the past 33 years we’ve been togeth­er through every kind of cri­sis. Kay and I’ve been priv­i­leged to hold your hands as you faced a cri­sis or loss, stand with you at grave­sides, and prayed for you when ill. Today, we need your prayer for us.

No words can express the anguished grief we feel right now. Our youngest son, Matthew, age 27, and a life­long mem­ber of Sad­dle­back, died today.

You who watched Matthew grow up knew he was an incred­i­bly kind, gen­tle, and com­pas­sion­ate man. He had a bril­liant intel­lect and a gift for sens­ing who was most in pain or most uncom­fort­able in a room. He’d then make a bee-line to that per­son to engage and encour­age them.

But only those clos­est knew that he strug­gled from birth with men­tal ill­ness, dark holes of depres­sion, and even sui­ci­dal thoughts. In spite of Amer­i­ca’s best doc­tors, meds, coun­selors, and prayers for heal­ing, the tor­ture of men­tal ill­ness nev­er sub­sided. Today, after a fun evening togeth­er with Kay and me, in a momen­tary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.

Kay and I often mar­veled at his courage to keep mov­ing in spite of relent­less pain. I’ll nev­er for­get how, many years ago, after anoth­er approach had failed to give relief, Matthew said ” Dad, I know I’m going to heav­en. Why can’t I just die and end this pain?” but he kept going for anoth­er decade.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We love you back.

Pas­tor Rick